Thunderously exciting news....

Well my miniature, fire-cracker, chilli hot-bloggers what betterer day to begin the impartation of child-spankingly good advice, lesser-known tit-bits and semi-supine musings that is Mrs. Barbara Gibbons (and Friends) than this, the 197th birthday of King Valentine?

As I'm sure you're all well aware, King Valentine, the 11th Marquis de Trouser was the inventor of the heart but his many achievements certainly didn't stop there. So, without further a do here are a few other saucy slivers of information that you might not know about my favourite 'Prince of Fluids' -

1. His real name is Kensington.
2. He also invented (in strict order of importance): Peas, Jungle Gyms, Liver, Small Cows, The Name Simon and six other household appliances.
3. He wore a furry cap, which he would doff.
4. He came out at night.
5. He was in love with soup.
6. He would regularly slip into his time cupboard in order to saddle up Peter Mandelson circa 1986 and ride him (like a taun-taun) through the woods behind Asda.
7. He owned Threshers.
8. He could make a kind of jam reputed to be able to make a man weep.
9. He couldn't whistle unless touched by bats.
10. A small chain of supermarkets in Asia is named after him.
11. There are no fewer than 11 different ways to pronounce his name.
12. He had no genitals (though it never stopped him trying).
13. He devised a method of divining power-rangers.
14. Kent!

Remarkable man, I think you'll all agree.

Hope this has whetted all of my children's (for you are all my special children) appetites for a petit forkful of Souffle d'Amour.

Remember:

Chocolate is NOT love - cash is.

Barbara Gibbons - Plucking the unwanted hair from the Bikini line of life...

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